Previous fitness posts are here. You should read them (cuz they’re funny) but I’ll summarize.
About a year and half ago I had my tonsils removed. This sucked, impinging as it did on my Dorito consumption. But the upside of bleeding from the throat, enduring great pain, and therefore being unable to eat anything that didn’t come in a container with a Quaker on it, was that I lost about ten pounds. When I recovered from the tonsillectomy, I resolved to keep the weight off. So I decided to start P90X. How hard could it be, thought I? Training, motherfuckers! Bring it unto me!
This is how I thought it would go.
This is what actually happened.
So I thought to myself: Self, this is some hard shit, maybe you should try something else? But then I remembered this:
After a while I got better at all the workouts. And eventually when I squared off against Horton I was more like this:
And over time the workouts did their thing — I got more fit and stronger. And I also felt a lot better. Here’s a before pic:
Possibly that’s a slight exaggeration.
Now, before we get to the actual after pic, let me say a couple things. First, Mrs. Kemp told me she would not be scandalized if I posted a pic, so all is well on that score. For my part, I’m essentially immune to shame. That said, this is a bit of a departure for me. I have two audiences for the blog. There’s some overlap, but they’re largely distinct. On the one hand I have the readers interested in my novels, and on the other I have folks interested in my fitness posts. It’s typical for fitness bloggers to post results-pictures but I’ve held off for a while because (a) I’m not a fitness blogger, as such, and (b) I thought it might be odd for readers of my novels to see me shirtless. But I finally figured: Why the hell not? So here you go.
When I started P90X I was about 223lbs. Today I’m about 195lbs, and I think I’m as fit and strong as I’ve ever been. Because I’m 45, I’m not sure I’ll ever get built like a superhero, but that’s okay because that wasn’t the point. I have a lot more energy and just generally feel better. From a cosmetic standpoint, I’m happy with where things are at the moment and plan to just keep right on going. All of which is to say: If you’re looking for excellent home fitness programs, I recommend the various Beachbody products.
Without further ado, here’s the after pic (a terrible selfie, true, but at least in black and white to avoid blinding you with my pasty white skin :-).